The Challenge So Far...

I said I'd be doing a challenge this month where I'm going to try and write a book, edit it, and publish it all in this one month.

So where am I? At present time I'm just under 10k on Death of a Sealer (name not certain) and I'm not done with Chapter 10.

The problem I'm running into is the same problem I run into with each book. I hit this point in a first draft and my instinct is I need to go back and rewrite everything. I have to fight hard not to start over at this point. I know what it is. I have so much self doubt about every project that I start that it becomes crushing as I get to the early middle of the project.

I rewrote THE TRAITOR'S DAUGHTER five or ten times before I reached the draft that would eventually become the published products. Sometimes I don't feel I rewrote it enough.

Essentially, what I have to face from this point until the end of the project is crushing anxiety. Every time I write I'm terrified I'm making the wrong word choice. So I almost have to force myself not to edit when I write. All the way through the first draft, I cannot go back and edit or I will delete everything and start over. And I hate it. I honestly hate it.

At the same time, I love writing and I love creating these worlds. It really is one of my favorite things. And I get an amazing feeling each time I release a novel. But I have little success so far. It's a trade off. Torture myself for a few weeks, do a week or two of editing (because if I do more I really will go back and rewrite the entire thing), then release. And... maybe get $20.

But, for those of you who don't know, I'm a cripple and I can't have a normal job. So it kinda sucks. I would love to have a normal income, which is part of why I'm trying to write so fast. I don't think I'll get a good income from it for a while, but I will try it.

Anyway, I gotta get back to the work. Hope you have a great weekend!